kalynroseanne:

Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened every day and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breath in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.

p0tbarbie:

p0tbarbie:

showerheadperc:

p0tbarbie:

Men think it’s ruder for a woman to say “don’t interrupt me” than it is for them to interrupt her in the first place

id probably call that ruder. Jus cause I interrupt someone don’t mean I was mentally thinking bout cutting this annoying ass bitch off. it just so happened my g.

I know you would call that ruder. That’s what the post was about.

Me: men think this

A man: no, actually I think exactly what you said men think

Me: right.

mydogisabutt:

atthepriceofoblivion:

Build-a-Bear Employee: please,,, I can’t fit any more stuffing into this pikachu

Me: You fool….. Make Him Fatter

i worked at build-a-bear in downtown disney and one time a guest came with a grinch and had me force 6 custom sounds into him which was just him breathing really hard and saying “MERRY CHRISTMAS” into each one
the thing is, he had me stuff them into the arms, which were stick-thin
so the seams were coming up and i was having to repair his now lumpy grinchy arms
this took like 45 minutes and all the while the kid was legit trying to remove my kneecaps, his mom was even telling me that she warned someone this would happen and they sent her straight to me ROFLMAO
after he was stuffed to the brim and i could hear the soul of the plush screaming at me for what would be the next eternity the kid dressed him up like batman
but his mom was like “NO HE HAS TO BE CHRISTMAS” so he put a santa hat on him and also a little plush gingerbread that smelled like actual gingerbread and it ended up looking like this

i clocked out an hour and a half late it was like 1 am

redheadhatchet:

bananonbinary:

one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.

DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.

One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.”  I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.

But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting.  Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible.  Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible.  Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.

pelkoja:

bogleech:

fourteengpc:

bogleech:

Maybe this was common knowledge to some folks but I only learned today that koalas have so little cognitive power, they won’t recognize leaves as food if they’re not on a tree branch. They have almost 0 learning capability or problem solving ability.

For years people thought that you couldn’t keep koalas in captivity because they were just ‘too sensitive’ and ‘meant to be wild’ 

Then they realized that the koalas literally just couldn’t figure out that leaves in a bowl were food

Apparently the koala’s brain represents only 0.2% of its body weight, the lowest of any mammal. In addition, it occupies only 61% of its already unusually small skull cavity, it’s completely smooth all over and there’s a big hole through the middle where the lobes never connect.

ME

susiephone:

nyanguard-party:

fer8girl:

goddamnshinyrock:

v-diggety:

did U GUYS KNOW, that the way stores get the balloons off of the ceiling is with ANOTHER balloon, w tape on the top??? and they just dont cut the string so it’s like super long and u gotta aim it right n reel it in. i just found that out today when i DID IT and it’s been the best working day of my life i had a blast blowing up balloons and fetching some off the ceiling. i had so much power? and NO ONE ELSE in my department likes that job so now it’s MY job when need be

omg so I work at a museum and one of our buildings has a) very high ceilings and b) a bizarrely sensitive alarm system that will go off if anything touches the ceiling. Because of this, helium balloons are considered public enemy #1 and are strictly forbidden from entering the museum. But just in case an illicit balloon is successfully smuggled in, the museum has acquired a fucking b.b. gun for the express purpose of shooting down rogue balloons.

lawful good vs chaotic good

chaotic evil

no that’s just walgreens